As i'm listening to DRS - Gangsta Lean (it's an R&B slow song, not as hyped hip hop as the title might sound) right now. Feeling really down and angry, and this song really makes me feel like blogging for some funky reason. I guess songs can be my source and inspiration to blog.
I really hate the phone connection between Brunei and here. It sucks. His msgs & calls don't get through all the time. My msges gets through to him but my calls sometimes can't. It's such a hassle.
What happened just now totally pissed me off. It may be a small thing, but i can't help but to get bitchy about it. Scenario here is that i called him (only the 4th time could get through, geez) and we talked lah, then got to a point deciding to talk online for a while before he goes out again to party (he parties every night, why can't i have that kind of parties here?). In terms of call costs, it's about Rm1.50 per minute from me to him, but for him to call me would cost hella lot more...O_o..fuck
So i came online just for him and regretted so badly that i didn't decide to watch "John Tucker Must Die" like i was supposed to that time, coz he wasn't even online! His msn name was there and everything but no reply when i msged. I was almost at the point of cursing the daylights in that convo box, but i refrained knowing that it wouldn't do much good to our relationship. Might as well relieve my stress here, doubt he would even read my blog nowadays. Doesn't really matter.
So i msged him on the phone after 15 mins of silence online telling him how disappointed i was in him for not being online and saying if he went out, shud've at least let me know so i won't be here like an idiot. Few mins later i got a call..when i picked up *silence* on the other end. That's how BAD the connection was people.. SILENCE. So i hung up, few mins later, it rang again. Thankfully this time i could hear him. He apologised & etc. Turned out he fell asleep out of exhaustion and woke up by his friend's call, that's when he read my sms. He had his reasons and i accepted though i was still f-kin upset. Couldn't say much except "okay" followed by silence. That's my trademark anger convo, okay.
Well, point of the story is. That was the reason why i updated my facebook status to:
"I won't be so hooked on you for a while"
...as a small reminder to myself
I'm not sure, this long distance sucks cock. Maybe i should not think about him all the time now and not msg him everyday (not like i could get his msgs also nowadays) so small stuff like this won't hurt as much. I know communication is key especially during long distance. But i don't want to feel so hooked on wanting to communicate every single day. *sigh* As the saying goes:
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" (it better fuckin be true)
SAY WHAAAAAAAAT? Pfftt...
Well, I NEED to go out more. If only there were more outdoor activities for me to do and to keep my mind occupied. *Oh lord help me* Hmm, this reminds me, Benita said the cutest thing on sms on Christmas day...
"Merry Christmas people! Remember Jesus loves you long time!"
Well, i'm going off to watch what i was initially supposed to do - watch "John Tucker Must Die", again... =)
Suck my cock people and go about your weary lives... Pretend to be lucky and you will be...
p/s: Call me out and Jesus will love you long time *winks*